How I Became a Believer in Christ

Hello Everyone!
I returned to college five days ago, and I have gotten back into a routine. I love college.
Anyway, I wasn't sure what topic I should cover in this post, but God has been really encouraging me to share my testimony on my blog. I also got some solid reinforcement from my friends. So, this post is about how Jesus transformed my life. 

My Testimony

For as long as I can remember, I have known of God. My parents spoke to me of Him many times. I knew that God was love, and that He loved me. As a young child, I wanted with all of my heart to love Him back. So, I gave Him my life by believing in Jesus Christ (Acts 16:31). I did not completely understand what I was doing. I had just found out that there was more to the world than the United States. 

After I surrendered my life to the LORD, I would like to say that everything became easy and that life was great. It did not. For a while, life was worse. 

I was not accepted into society because of my God, my looks, and how my family raised me. I was isolated, and I thought this was the worst thing ever. However, God had me right where He wanted me. You see, He did not create me to fit in with the rest of the world. I couldn’t conform to the world even if I wanted to (I tried). 

As adolescence approached, my mind began to change and develop. This was good and this was terrible. I began to question my beliefs about God. It seemed as if He never answered my prayers. I didn’t think He was with me anymore.

It is very hard to explain what went on in those years of my life (ages 9-16). I was attacked by my fears, and it seemed as if they had beaten me. They controlled my life. This fear brought with it an insanity that I could not control. 

God allowed me to draw to help relieve the anxiety for a few minutes

My biggest fear was that I had lost my salvation. I thought I was going to hell. My next biggest fear was everything else. The scriptures say that “God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, courage, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).” I had none of those things. I begged God to help me (and I wasn’t completely sure He was there). I didn’t understand why He wouldn’t take away my agony. I was helpless! My mind was falling apart, and even though I told my parents about my problems, I did not tell them all of my problems. I can’t explain everything that attacked me from the inside. My parents encouraged me to ask Him to help my unbelief, and I did. For mere moments, my faith would be restored, only to be beaten down by another attack of my mind. 

 I also isolated myself from everyone, making it even worse. I hated my family, and I hated myself.

I was supposed to be free, but I felt like I was slave to chaos. I couldn’t tell up from down anymore. 

 How did my Father rescue me? He sent many of His followers to encourage me. My sisters encouraged me, My mother and father gave me scripture. Many people prayed for me. 

God also sent me running. For a while, running was the one thing that kept me sane. It gave me a few hours of freedom from the stress of life. Unfortunately, that got messed up because I found my identity in being a runner and not a child of the King. 

I'm very thankful that God has given me an outlet through running. 

Throughout all of this, I was a Christian. My life was His. I wanted to please the Father, but I could barely walk outside. I was so lost and lonely.  I just wanted to be free. 

Finally, God seemed to reveal Himself to me.

Side Note: In hindsight, God was already revealing Himself to me, I just wasn’t paying attention. 

 I started reading my Bible ( I had been, I just never got much out of it) to find out who God was. I sought after Him, trying to claw my way out of the darkness. My identity was destroyed. I was a saved mess. God was my Savior, but was He my Father--my Friend? 

I also began to pray, spending time with a Father that I had avoided--a Father that I could not see or hear because of all of the noise around me. 

I found out that the Father had never left me. He loved me with an unshakeable love that no one could comprehend. He had heard my cries. He had made me His. I was the Father’s daughter and I would be His forever and ever. 

To a broken young woman, these words were pure life. It was as if God had breathed life into my near-lifeless body. 

My identity was restored, my fears were dashed. Life came forth as I began to understand the God I served. I made His truths my reality and I was transformed. PRAISE THE LORD!

I would like to say I got it right all of time, now that I knew the truth. I would like to say that my life was easier. I did not get it right all the time and life was definitely not easy. But, I had the God of the universe as my Father. He gave me the power, courage, and sound mind to live hour by hour. He set me free from myself. He set me free from my wretchedness. The song “Amazing Grace” was and is my reality. He saved a wretch from her own destruction. 

My story is a testimony of His faithfulness. Though I had fallen miserably and could not get up, He did not abandon me. He saved and transformed me. 

I WAS saved as I struggled with fear. Salvation was my reality, but I was walking in a fantasy! I don’t understand it all, but I know that all things work together for the good of those who love the Father (Romans 8:28). All things work together to point to the Father. If I hadn’t experienced the trials that I went through, I would not be the person I am today. My faith is stronger because of God’s destruction of my fear and bondage to my mind. My faith is made stronger because only the Father could deliver me from such terror. I thank Him for His restoration of me. 

If you have not received a testimony of God's grace, I urge you to listen and respond to God's Words found in John 3:16: 
"For so God loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life (King James Version)."

Thank you for reading my blog!